Frequently Asked Questions

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North East London Mediation Service. 

What if I'm not located in North east and London?

At NEL we also offer remote mediation services to clients nationwide. Face to Face sessions are available in North East London and Essex.

Family mediation helps if your relationship has broken down and you need to sort out practical issues such as: 

• Arrangements for children – where they are going to live and when you’ll see them 

• Child maintenance payments 

• Sharing finances (e.g. house, savings, pension) 

• Dealing with any debts. 

Is quicker, cheaper and provides a better way to sort out disagreements than long drawn-out court battles – helping you to get on with the rest of your life as quickly as possible.

Gives you more say about what happens. In court, a judge will make the decisions for you both. With Mediation you and the other party make the decisions and agreements between yourselves.

Decisions that you both make in Mediation can be made into legally binding agreements, if you both agree.

Is  can be less stressful, with less conflict between you and your partner. If you have children it is less upsetting for them. It can help find ways for everyone involved to get on better in the future.

Improves communication and helps you sort out your future. 

Agreements can be reviewed and changed if you both agree – e.g. if your situation changes, and as your children get older and have different needs. 

Is easier on your children when parents co-operate and helps them continue important family relationships. 

Professional family mediators help you work out what happens after you split up. 

They can also help when you've been separated a while and need to sort something out. 

Mediation sessions are run by Mediators who help you try to reach an agreement without going to court. 

A mediator can help you and your ex-partner agree on child arrangements, without taking sides. Mediation is not relationship counselling. Family Mediators won't try to get you and your ex-partner back together. (You do not have to be in the same room as the other participant).

A mediator can help you and your ex-partner agree on child arrangements, without taking sides.

Mediation is not relationship counselling. It can help you agree on the details of how you’ll look after your children, such as:

• where they live
• when they spend time with each parent
• when and what other types of contact take place (phone calls, for example)
• child maintenance payments

The first step is to attend a meeting with the mediator so you can find out more about mediation and if it’s right for you. This is generally called an 'Assessment Meeting' or a ‘Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting’ (MIAM). 

At the Assessment Meeting the Mediator will:

Ask you questions in respect of the dispute, the participants, and all of the circumstances of the case.

Explain the principles and potential limitations of Mediation.

Help you to decide on the appropriateness of Mediation for your situation.

Provide information about Family Law and its processes, and other relevant means of Family Dispute Resolution.

Explain the difference between information and advice ensuring you are aware of your right to seek legal independent advice.

Provide info about sources for parents, children and families. Sign Post as appropriate.

Provide appropriate info on sources of assistance and protection from harm.

You and the other participant will each attend a Assessment Meeting separately.

If Mediation is suitable for you, an invitation will be sent to the other party asking if they would like to attend an initial Assessment Meeting in preparation for Mediation Sessions with you. 

Thereafter, if Mediation is suitable for both of you, Mediation Sessions will be scheduled.

The mediator is also trained to help you find other help and support services if you need them. 

Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (known as a MIAM)

The law says that you must consider whether mediation can help you before you can take a case to court. This means you need to go to a MIAM unless special circumstances apply, like if your situation involves domestic violence or abuse.  

Mediation is often most effective when it takes place at an early stage, before the issues become big problems. It’s best to contact a mediator as soon as you and your ex-partner have come to terms with the separation and need help sorting out arrangements. You don’t need to see a solicitor first but if you do they should tell you about mediation. Even if you’ve been separated for a while or if your case has already gone to court, mediation can help to resolve any dispute you may still have. 

After the initial Assessment Meeting , if you all agree to try mediation, you will need to attend mediation sessions (usually 1-2 hours each). The length and number of sessions will depend on your situation. When an agreement is reached, the mediator will writ it down in a ‘Memorandum of Understanding’ so that everyone is clear about what has been decided. Agreements made in mediation can be made legally binding by a court if both you and your ex-partner agree. This is sometimes useful if arrangements are meant to run over a period of time, such as child maintenance payments, or if you want something a little more formal to help you both stick to your agreement. Some people going through mediation find it helpful to have legal support to advise them. Legal Aid may be available to help pay for this. 

Legal advice during the process should be recommended by every Family Mediation service in the UK. Taking good legal advice before and during the process can help. At the end of the mediation process, you will usually need a family law solicitor or lawyer to make your agreement legally binding.

You can ask a court to decide on anything you have not already agreed.

You must show you’ve attended a meeting to see if mediation is right for you before applying to a court. You will not have to go in certain cases, for example if there’s been domestic abuse or social services are involved.

You can get help with preparing to make arrangements and reaching an agreement.

You can also:

• ask a solicitor about other ways to resolve issues out of court
• contact Citizens Advice to find out about any other help you can get
• ask for support from social services, if issues like domestic violence or drug abuse are making it harder to agree on child arrangements

 If the situation changes and the arrangements aren’t working, you can go back to the mediator. If needed, you can agree to change the Memorandum of Understanding. 

Family mediation works for most people. At the initial Assessment Meeting the mediator will talk to you about whether mediation will work for you both and tell you about other options that could still avoid you having to go to court, for example collaborative law or solicitor negotiation. 

Neither a Mediator or the Court can force someone to attend mediation.

Your other options include Legal Advice, Negotiations through Solicitors, Collaborative Law, and Family Arbitration 

In some cases the judge may adjourn your proceedings whilst you attempt mediation. Even in such circumstances you do not have to attend, although the judge will want to know the reasons why. 

The law says that you must consider whether mediation can help you before you can take a case to court. A judge can halt your case until this has happened. 

You will need to show the court that a) you have been to a MIAM to find out about mediation, or b) you don’t need to do this because of special circumstances which are listed in section 11 of form C100. 

Special circumstances include cases involving domestic violence or child abuse, which may not be right for mediation – the mediator can advise you on this at the MIAM or Assessment meeting. 

Alternatively, if you have evidence of domestic violence or child abuse you may not need to go to a MIAM and may be able to get Legal Aid to pay for a solicitor to help you bring your case to court. 

These forms are designed to draw together all your financial information, which will be used during mediation. 

It is important that any proposals agreed in mediation are based on full knowledge of each other's financial situation. 

Your solicitors will also need to refer to these forms and attached documents when they advise you on any proposals reached and when they draft the final consent order. 

The court will also need to see a summary of your finances to assess whether the order submitted is appropriate.

It is vital that all details of your finances are disclosed; should there be any avoidance of relevant information then any court order made can be set aside.

You both need to include anything in your own name or joint names or your name with a third party. 

This should include any and all assets, liabilities, income and expenditure both here or in any other country.

 For more general guidance about ending a relationship visit: www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk www.advicenow.org.uk/topics/ or www.citizensadvice.org.uk